Im Not Falling for This Trap Again

Consult a life passenger vehicle to help you avoid or escape the traps set for usa in life. Merely click here to notice i now.

Life is a journey. That'south what we're told. And it's true in many ways. It has a beginning, an in-betwixt, and an finish. All lives do.

Yet, nearly journeys volition have pitfalls along the way. Difficulties we don't foresee.

And journeys accept traps. Things nosotros tin fall into while we're traveling.

One of the dangers of traps is that they're unseen. They're hidden. Past the time you spot them, it's too late. In that location aren't signposts that say, "Trap Ahead." And because nosotros don't see the traps, we don't prepare for them.

Only what if y'all could exist warned near the traps along the path of your life journey?

Wouldn't it be helpful to know those you volition encounter along the way alee of time?

You're in luck.

Here are 20 traps people fall into in their lives. These traps are so mutual they're about universal. They will almost certainly apply to you every bit well equally to me.

As the saying goes, "Forewarned is forearmed." Then let's get forearmed, shall nosotros?

1. The trap of playing the victim.

We all have things happen to us that nosotros wish didn't. Sometimes we are the victim of violence, injury, mistreatment, or abuse. Information technology's okay to phone call it for what it is.

Just we also have a tendency to see ourselves as a victim when the blame really lay with us.

Getting the flu right earlier a task interview makes you an unfortunate victim of circumstance. Beingness fired for arguing with your boss does not.

We should learn to recognize things that happen to us that aren't our fault and that we tin't avoid.

Nosotros should also accept responsibility when nosotros bring things upon ourselves instead of adopting a victim mentality.

2. The trap of revenge.

But equally we've all been victims of circumstance at some point, at that place will take been times when we've had things done to us by some other.

When this happens, there can be a compelling drive to settle the score. To repay evil with evil. We should resist this drive with all the strength we tin can muster.

Revenge is not only incorrect in and of itself, but we exercise ourselves harm when nosotros cause evil in someone else'due south life.

This is non to say that we should not seek justice when there has been a offense committed, or another harmful activity has been taken. But we should leave justice in the hands of those who are empowered for this purpose.

Even if they don't always do it perfectly.

Sometimes life is just not fair. But we don't accept the authority or the correct to accept matters into our own hands. They call information technology the "law of the jungle" because it'due south what is done in the jungle. Unless you live in the jungle, you should avoid this trap.

As someone observed long ago:

Revenge is like drinking toxicant yourself and expecting the other person to die.

It's also like burning bridges over which nosotros ourselves must cross.

3. The trap of bitterness.

It'due south not a question of whether you have something to exist bitter virtually – you probably do. Nearly everyone does. We've all been treated desperately past someone at some fourth dimension for some reason.

Merely what'south done is done. The only question is whether you tin let it go and not become bitter over information technology. Unfair treatment is inevitable – bitterness is optional.

Bitterness volition merely add an additional burden to your life, which may already exist burdened plenty. Don't add to it. Relieve some of your burden by not beingness bitter.

4. The trap of cocky-centeredness.

Nosotros all demand to accept care of ourselves, but at that place's an appropriate amount of cocky-interest, cocky-preservation, and self-attention.

One time nosotros are no longer children, information technology's expected that the responsibleness for our well-being will shift away from our parents and caregivers to ourselves. This is correct and it should happen at some point.

Sometimes we tin can comport self-care too far. Our focus is entirely also much on ourselves.

But life is not just about ourselves. It's also about what we bring to others. It's about our contribution that betters the lives of others.

Simply in order to invest in others, we must necessarily shift our focus away from ourselves. We must expect outward likewise as inward.

A cocky-centered life is a travesty. It ways that someone is keeping for themselves what is meant to be shared. But in that location's plenty to go effectually. There's enough for us to take what we need, while offer to others what they need too.

5. The trap of thinking y'all must win every argument.

Information technology's important to know what y'all believe and why y'all believe it. To have deep convictions that can withstand opposition. We should exist able to articulate our positions on various bug and defend them with articulate, denoting, and logical arguments.

Simply we don't need to win every argument.

Nosotros don't have to ever be right.

Sometimes nosotros can honestly defer to others, without denying the things we hold dearest. We tin listen empathetically to the beliefs and opinions and convictions of others.

We tin can also agree to disagree. We can admit that we could be wrong virtually something we concur to strongly. We can live and let alive. We can fifty-fifty endeavour to appreciate the dissimilar convictions that others agree and why they may hold them.

You tin can learn a lot past listening to an statement without needing to win the argument. Equally someone once wisely said, "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."

When you argue with the intent of winning the argument rather than learning from the argument, you gain argue ground at the expense of relational ground.

It's not a very adept trade.

Avoid the trap of having to win every argument. You lot'll make more pleasant company.

6. The trap of caring too much what other people think.

There'southward an old maxim that goes like this:

We wouldn't worry and then much about what other people think near united states of america if we realized how seldom they do.

That said and even that being true, we nevertheless tend to worry about it anyway.

But though it's okay to be concerned to some degree with what other people call back about u.s., it becomes a trouble when carried also far. It can get a trap.

If y'all find yourself beingness told by several people that you lot're a certain way, or that you have a certain problem, or that you should change a certain thing… it'southward worth considering.

The reason people tell yous this may be because it's a existent problem that you accept. But you lot should always consider the source before you draw any firm conclusions.

There's another old saying that I've thought about many times over the years:

If i human calleth thee a donkey, pay him no mind. If 2 men calleth thee a donkey, get thee a saddle.

Nosotros need non be overly concerned with what other people think virtually us unless a lot of people remember that way. And only and then if information technology'southward a genuine negative or toxic trait that they're shining a light on.

In those cases, we should do some serious personal assessment and make some changes.

Otherwise, caring too much what other people recollect about us is merely some other trap to avoid falling into.

7. The trap of not learning from feel.

It's been said that the simply matter more than painful than learning from experience is not learning from experience.

Experience should be our all-time teacher. In school, we beginning acquire the lesson, then we're given the test. In life, we're first given the exam, so we learn the lesson.

Experiences are the tests through which we learn those lessons. If we have experiences and don't learn from them – or refuse to learn from them – we miss the value and purpose of experiences.

When you lot have an unpleasant or painful or costly experience, do an honest and barbarous assessment.

Ask yourself what you lot did wrong. How could you take washed it improve? What mistakes could y'all have avoided? Should you have started earlier? Should you have been more careful? Should y'all not have attempted information technology at all?

These kinds of questions followed by honest answers will help you learn valuable lessons from your experiences that will serve you well in the future.

Don't fall into the trap of non learning from your feel. To do so is to squander i of your greatest opportunities.

8. The trap of indecision.

One of the markers of machismo is that we come to realize that the decisions we make can be either direct or indirect.

A directly decision is when we decide proactively to move in one direction or another. An indirect decision is when we decide by failing to decide. In other words, we decide by default.

So if someone asks you if yous'd similar to have an ice foam sundae, you can respond in one of 3 means:

"Aye, I'd like one, cheers." Or, "No, I wouldn't care for one, thanks." Or, "You know, I really can't determine one manner or the other."

But of course, the second and third decisions consequence in the aforementioned affair – no ice foam sundae.

Nosotros delude ourselves when we recall we can put off a decision indefinitely and somehow avoid the unpleasantness and risk of deciding. Just we can't.

If you don't determine whether or not to marry, yous indirectly make up one's mind to remain single. If you can't determine whether or not to take a particular job, you indirectly decide non to take it.

We don't have the luxury of merely deciding when we want to. To not make up one's mind is to make up one's mind for the opposite affair. Then do your all-time to avoid the trap of indecision. Indecision will not serve you lot.

Just make the best conclusion yous can brand and accept the consequences, skilful or bad.

This is why I capeesh the words of Amelia Earhart. She said:

The most difficult matter is the decision to human activity, the rest is just tenacity.

So get ahead and make a decision. If you brand a bad conclusion, encounter Trap #7.

9. The trap of thinking you tin do nothing because you can only practise a piffling.

I of the most mutual traps in life is the belief that if we tin't do a lot, we should practise nothing at all. This tin exist a crippling philosophy.

The fact is, every effort we will ever make lies somewhere between zero and infinity. We can never exercise everything. But we tin practise zip. Everything else falls somewhere on the continuum.

This ways that even the smallest acts tin can contribute to the goal. Even the tiniest actions can make a big difference in the long term.

Y'all don't have to run marathons to improve your wellness. Yous can have a daily walk and cutting back on foods that don't contribute to your well-beingness.

If you're always behind the viii-ball financially, brand a commitment to relieve some money out of every paycheck. You don't need to save $x,000 per calendar month. Start with $25 per month. That's but $300 in a year, but it may be more than you're saving now.

Maybe you should be reading more. And then what if you can't read a book a week, or fifty-fifty a book a month. Commit to reading i chapter a week. It's a start.

Write one letter of the alphabet. Brand one telephone phone call. Make one productive alter. Clean out one cupboard. Read 1 important book. We just cannot know in advance what our minor efforts can bring.

And then invest in small efforts. A fiddling flake is better than nothing at all. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you lot can do zip because you tin only do a little.

Practice a piddling. It tin can brand a large departure.

ten. The trap of not treasuring what you truly value.

Anybody must personally decide what things in life are truly valuable. Things worth protecting. Things worth preserving. Things worth nurturing.

These are all intensely personal. You tin't tell me what's valuable to me. I tin't say what's valuable to yous.

The betoken is to avert the trap of not treasuring what is truly valuable TO YOU!

So begin with what you personally deem to exist of great value. Then do what you can to protect, maintain, and nurture whatsoever that may be.

Whether it's your material possessions. Relationships. Your health. Your wealth. Your dreams. Determine what things are most valuable to yous and deed accordingly.

Avoid the trap of non treasuring what you lot truly value. This is a huge mistake in the journey of life. You will end upwardly working hard to keep what is not truly valuable to you. And yous will lose what truly is.

Some things in life can't be fixed in one case they're cleaved. Time doesn't heal all wounds.

Y'all don't want to lose the things you treasure the most. Don't autumn into this trap. Exist sure to treasure the things you lot value the about.

xi. The trap of refusing to accept that things have changed.

It'southward been said that the only constant is change. Whoever said it was right. Nothing e'er remains the same. Nosotros aren't fifty-fifty the same person tonight that nosotros were this morning.

We've probably learned something new. We've probably forgotten something. All of the cells in our body are ane solar day older. All the systems in our torso are one day older. And when y'all consider that we only have so many days of life left, we're ane day closer to our own expiry.

I don't mean this to sound morbid. I hateful it to sound honest.

The fact is, things are going to modify whether nosotros admit it or not. Things volition change with or without our permission. Alter will come even if we don't notice information technology. Change volition go on on occurring even if nosotros denounce information technology or rail against information technology.

Nosotros cannot stop change. No one can.

So the best we can do is to take change.

We can honestly acknowledge that things are not the same as they used to be. Nosotros aren't as young every bit we one time were. Nosotros aren't equally strong as we once were. We don't have the same free energy we once did.

Our interests have changed. Our friends are different. Nosotros may not live in the same house, the same town, or even the same country as nosotros once did.

Not all change brings progress. Only without change there can exist no progress at all.

So we should become friends with change. We should be comfortable with accepting what has changed and not complain about what is inevitable and unassailable.

Those who cannot acknowledge and accept change are living an illusion. Don't fall into the trap. Even if you aren't happy about change – at to the lowest degree acquire to accept it as one of life's nonnegotiables. Yous'll exist better for it.

12. The trap of seeking perfection rather than excellence.

Excellence is a worthwhile pursuit. Perfection is not.

With few exceptions, perfection cannot be achieved. You can come close. But perfection itself is almost ever elusive. There's little sense in pursuing what cannot exist reached.

But fifty-fifty if perfection WAS doable, the cost is usually also high.

The pursuit of perfection is extremely fourth dimension consuming. It besides consumes enormous amounts of energy. Information technology's exhausting. In very few cases is perfection worth the cost fifty-fifty if it could be achieved.

Perfection is so seldom required. We may think it is. But it's not.

Of course, there are occasions where nosotros wish that perfection would always exist achieved. Brain surgery, landing a commercial airplane, relationships, childbirth, jumping from an plane with a parachute – simply to mention a few.

But the vast bulk of things in life demand not be perfect.

Excellence is a much improve goal. Excellence will exist adequate nearly every time. And excellence is almost always doable, while perfection about never is.

So opt for excellence. Don't fall into the perfection-seeking trap.

13. The trap of assuming we know what we don't.

You've probably met some self-appointed "know-it-alls" in your lifetime. People who present themselves as experts on every subject area. They tin can get pretty annoying. Don't become one yourself.

Information technology's reported that human knowledge doubles every 13 months. And according to IBM, the expansion of the "cyberspace of things" will lead to the doubling of human cognition every 12 hours.

I think we can safely hold that there are plenty of things that you lot don't know. Same for me. Aforementioned for every other homo being.

So when y'all call back you lot know something, exercise everyone a favor and confirm your knowledge. Do some personal fact checking. Endeavor to separate truthful knowledge from things y'all picked up as a kid.

Given how fast cognition is growing and how fast then-chosen knowledge is changing, yous might just be wrong.

Finally, recollect that even though the internet is a powerful noesis tool, it'southward not infallible. Just because it says and then on your screen doesn't hateful it'due south truthful.

Don't assume that you know what y'all don't. Don't even assume that you know what you may not know. Every bit Ronald Reagan used to say…"Trust, but verify."

fourteen. The trap of declining to motion on.

Nearly everyone has some event in their life that's difficult to move on from. Sometimes we just can't seem to process it to our satisfaction. In that location are questions we cannot answer.

In that location are regrets. If this had not happened. If simply that had happened. Regrets about timing. Bitterness almost the way nosotros were treated. Hopes dashed. Dreams destroyed. We could proceed.

Merely even though we need not pretend that sure things never happened. And we need not deny how we feel nearly them. There's no reason for u.s. to wallow in it. To cling to what is no more than. Or pretend that it will return.

Whenever we get a cut, the body grows a protective shield of fibrin that covers the newly injured tissue. We call information technology a scab. The scab protects the pare from additional injury. It also protects the newly forming pare from bacteria.

Scabs are non an accident. They're the torso's natural bandage and they serve a expert purpose. If you've ever scraped off a scab, y'all realized the purpose they served. Scabs are better left on.

Also, when nosotros've been psychologically or emotionally injured, we demand fourth dimension to heal. In that location are a multifariousness of aids to the healing procedure like to the scab concept.

Time can assist. Talking with a friend can aid. Reading the stories of people who've gone through like experiences can help. Meditating on what happened. Praying virtually it. Talking with a therapist who knows a lot nearly such experiences can too help.

All of these can aid the healing procedure, and whatsoever or all of them tin be used. But eventually it will be time to move on in your life.

The outer scab will have served its purpose, it will fall off, and the formerly injured tissue is now healed. There may be a scar left backside. Only the injury itself is no longer debilitating. Information technology's healed.

In a similar way, after some period of time – the length being difficult to predict – you lot'll heal from your trauma and exist ready to motion on.

It may not be easy. It may take all the strength y'all tin can muster to do it. But yous must do it. And you can do it. But but you tin do it. No one can practice it for you.

Don't autumn into the trap of not moving on. Life is too curt to stay unsettled. Allow yourself to exist healed.

Utilize the resources you can to facilitate the process. But permit yourself to exist healed. When the day comes for you to movement on… move on. Don't get caught in the trap.

15. The trap of taking the short-term view.

Life is non a sprint – it'due south a marathon. If you've always run a marathon, y'all know it can exist disastrous to showtime too fast. You can only win a marathon or even promise to complete a marathon past pacing yourself. You must take information technology slowly and only a little scrap at a time.

And so information technology is in life.

The manner to win in life's journeying is to take the long-term view rather than the short-term view. Some things just accept time, and y'all must often sacrifice the quick pleasure for the sustaining joy.

This is where discipline enters the moving picture. The author Andy Andrews gives the clearest definition of self-discipline I've come across and so far. He said:

Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do something you don't necessarily want to do, to get a result that you would really similar to have.

Pretty uncomplicated, actually. Self-subject field is merely taking the long-term view. It's realizing that in social club to have what I really want in the futurity, I must sacrifice in the present.

No one would exercise self-discipline unless there was a payoff. What many people miss virtually self-field of study is that it is not a meaningless cede. It'due south just nowadays sacrifice for a hereafter reward.

If you're able to give up in the present for what you really desire in the future, you'll exercise the cocky-discipline required to make that happen. If you don't, you won't.

If what y'all want is not valuable, there'south no reason to sacrifice for information technology. But if what you lot want is valuable, but requires sacrifice in the present – brand that sacrifice.

In other words, have the long-term view. Don't fall into the trap of short-termism.

16. The trap of not realizing that progress requires alter.

Have you e'er noticed that everybody loves progress, only hardly anybody loves change?

What nosotros want, according to Sydney J. Harris, is "for things to remain the aforementioned but go ameliorate."

The problem we must face up is that improvement requires alter. Things cannot become meliorate without irresolute.

Information technology'south too been observed that it's non and then much change that we don't like – it'southward when nosotros must change that we tend to become uneasy.

We're all for the earth changing. We're all for our friends and colleagues irresolute. Nosotros're all for our community, our school, our company, and our neighbors changing.

Only we're non equally excited about changing ourselves.

We must avert the trap of thinking that progress tin can occur in the absence of change. Information technology cannot. Progress requires change. And sometimes the change can be distasteful, unpleasant, or even painful.

We must want the change more we want to avert the distaste, unpleasantness, and hurting. We must exchange one for the other. And those things worth pursuing and having are worth the exchange.

Nosotros recognize that not all change results in progress. But without modify there tin can be no progress at all.

17. The trap of non accepting people for who they really are.

This is a very common trap to autumn into. It's as if some people think they've been appointed everyone else's Personal Makeover Advisor. They simply can't accept people the mode they are. They feel compelled to modify them.

The reason this is and so important is that sooner or later, when y'all don't have someone for who they really are, they'll distance themselves from you.

Nobody wants to be rejected for who they really are. We want to be accepted – warts and all.

Not to imply that nosotros recollect we're perfect or we don't accept flaws. Or that we don't think there are areas where alter is needed. Anybody can amend.

That being said, we want to be bodacious that those closest to united states of america accept us as we are. That we're accepted for who nosotros are – not for who others want united states to exist.

It's exhausting to endeavor to be someone you aren't. Don't practice it. Hang out with people who take yous now. But understand that you, like them, are a piece of work in progress. Avoid people who make you feel hard to dear.

You don't want to be rejected for who you really are. You want to be accepted for who yous really are.

Other people experience the aforementioned way. And then avoid the trap of not accepting them. If you tin't have them for who they actually are, at least take the integrity to tell them so. And you tin part ways amicably.

eighteen. The trap of not realizing that little things matter.

Whenever ships sail the ocean or jet airplanes ply the heavens, captains know that a tiny deviation from the form can brand a huge difference over fourth dimension and distance.

Just a i% divergence from the intended direction tin land the ship or airplane in a completely different country over a long distance.

Little things are important. Little things tin make a big difference. Not realizing this is a lethal trap we should avert.

In that location are endless examples we could cite to illustrate this truth. Hither are just a handful:

One argument you make to a friend tin can destroy the relationship.
One statement tin atomic number 82 to a breakdown in a wedlock.
Ane case of bad judgment can end a career.
1 moment of weakness tin can destroy a life.

Failing to supervene upon the crankcase cap after an oil change can lead to a seized and ruined car engine.

One error tin lose a baseball game, a playoff, or even a World Series. This has actually happened.

Nosotros should too recognize that simply doing small things well can make a profound departure.

Pocket-size gestures of kindness can brighten someone'south twenty-four hours. Minor acts of courage can aid overcome fears.

Little things matter. Little things can make a big difference. They have. They do. And they will. Don't get caught in the trap of not realizing it.

19. The trap of not accepting that reaching significant goals requires focus.

Distractions steal dreams. Losing focus can cause us to lose our fashion. No groovy achievement can be realized without focus.

In fact, focus is ane of the most important factors in any kind of achievement. To lose focus is to allot oneself to failure.

Focus helps the states direct our free energy. Focus helps us stay on job until completion. Focus helps us not exist deterred by competing options. Focus helps make our work productive. Focus energizes us because information technology allows us to see results.

One-time United States Secretarial assistant of State, John Foster Dulles said:

A man'due south accomplishments in life are the cumulative effect of his attention to detail.

This is a argument well-nigh focus. Focus enables us to tend to the details that make all the divergence in the outcome.

Aristotle said:

We are what we repeatedly practice. Excellence then, is non an act, only a addiction.

Habits are created through repeated actions. These actions require focus. This makes focus a key component of excellence.

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft said:

My success, part of it certainly, is that I have focused in on a few things.

To achieve pregnant goals, focus is required.

xx. The trap of non realizing that we ordinarily reap what we sow.

I of the most consequent realities in the universe is what is sometimes chosen The Police of the Harvest.

The idea existence that what the farmer plants in the spring is what the farmer will harvest in the fall. Corn is planted – corn is harvested. Wheat is planted – wheat is harvested.

We don't found apple tree seeds and wait a tomato plant to emerge. We don't found soy beans and expect for squash to announced. There's a consistency in nature. Seeds produce after their kind.

But this same police exists on the human level also. When we sow sure thoughts and deportment, we reap the harvest of what we've sown.

Perchance not today. Or tomorrow. Or adjacent month. Or next year. Simply sooner or later the chickens come up habitation to roost.

We reap what we've sown. Sometimes we manage to escape the harvest that should accept come. But this is not what usually happens. What we exercise today has a way of catching up with us.

Not everyone who smokes ii packs of cigarettes per twenty-four hour period will get cancer – but many volition. And information technology should non come up as a shock.

Not everyone who steals from their employer gets caught – only many practise. And it should not come as a shock.

Non everyone who's lazy will fail to have a stable career and financial life – but many volition. And it should not come as a shock.

Not everyone who treats their friends desperately will lose their friends – but many will. And information technology should not come as a shock.

We should presume that what we practise in our present will in some style touch on our futurity. Though there are rare exceptions, we should not count on these.

We should avoid the trap of not realizing that we will ordinarily reap what nosotros sow.

Are you stuck in a life trap and want to get out? Speak to a life omnibus today who can walk you through the process. Simply click here to connect with one.